On the Me+You facebook page I recently asked the question: “What would your definition of a healthy relationship be?” I received these answers in response:
- Mutual respect.
- A shared sense of humor.
- Unfaltering trust the other one will cherish your heart enough to never break it.
I’m starting to wonder if all of these words have to go hand in hand for a relationship to work. For example, can there be trust without communication? Or respect without forgiveness? Or forgiveness without compromise?
RESPECT is: A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.
TRUST is: A firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength or someone or something.
COMPROMISE is: An agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
COMMUNICATION is: The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.
FORGIVENESS is: To stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
People often say that in a good relationship “COMMUNICATION is key.” But what does this phrase mean, really?
Yes, I agree that in a healthy relationship COMMUNICATION is extremely important…but maybe for successful communication, one needs to TRUST that his or her partner is doing the best they can, or the best they know how at the time…even if they are not communicating as well as the other would like…
I have struggled with this concept all my life. I have always lived by the rule: “Treat others how you would like to be treated.” When someone does or says something that hurts me, I say to myself, “I would have never treated someone like this…therefore this person does not RESPECT me and I need to let them go.”
But the fact is, we are all coming from somewhere else. We all have our own set of rules for what we think is right and what we think is wrong. And we all have our own expectations for how others should act.
And guess what? People are unpredictable. Relationships are unpredictable. And most of the time, people won’t act the way you want them to act.
People are human. We have flaws.
And maybe in a relationship one must ACCEPT that his or her partner is doing the best he or she can in any given situation…