We have all been there. We have all been with that person who brings the “crazy” out in us. We don’t know why we’re acting the way we are, but our actions and decisions are not rational. We are not ourselves. The relationship is explosive. Exciting? Yes. But ultimately, Destructive.
Can this type of relationship still be defined as love? Obviously it is unhealthy…but the love feels real. In fact, because emotions are almost always running high, it can feel more real than “healthy” love.
I recently read this on www.midlovecrisis.com:
“I will never tell someone else that they are not in love or that another person doesn’t love them. I have come to understand that love comes in two forms: healthy and unhealthy. But it’s still love. Unhealthy love tells you that you are not enough, that you will never find anyone else who will love you, that you have put in too much time and energy to find anyone else, that because of something you did, you deserve what is being offered.
Healthy love does not demand what it is not willing to do. Healthy love does not keep tabs on you, berate you, and attempt to control you. Healthy love allows you to feel like you are looking at yourself in the mirror. It allows you to be who you are, to be enough, to be worthy, to be deserving of happiness, and to deserve love, despite what you have done in past relationships, who you have loved, and the choices you have made.” —Kristen Crockett—
I never thought of love in terms of “healthy” and “unhealthy.” I suppose I just assumed that the “unhealthy” love wasn’t love. But this makes sense in a way. Unhealthy love is still a form of love. It’s just unhealthy.
So, really, it is a fairly simple decision. And an empowering one: Do you WANT unhealthy love in your life? Do you gain anything from having a person in your life who makes you feel less than?