A little while ago I wrote a blog on forgiveness. Forgiveness not only heals past relationships, it allows current relationships to thrive. In order to have a healthy relationship with anyone, you MUST learn how to forgive and release negative energy. This allows the law of attraction to bring new love and healthy relationships into your life.
I went into detail about the four types of forgiveness. There are two dysfunctional forms of forgiveness: CHEAP FORGIVENESS and REFUSING TO FORGIVE. But ACCEPTANCE and GENUINE FORGIVENESS give you, as the violated party, the power to come to terms with your injury so you can move forward into new and rewarding relationships.
Until you truly forgive and release wrongs done to you in the past, you will never be your true self and you will not attract people who are healthy for you.
ACCEPTANCE is the most empowering form of forgiveness. It is based on a personal decision to come to terms with your injury and move on. It allows you to take control of your pain, make sense of your injury and move past that injury. With acceptance, you take the task of healing into your own hands. You empower yourself and make peace with your past.
The difficult part about acceptance however, is that your offender does not take part in the healing process…
My question in the last blog was, “How do you forgive someone who cannot, or will not acknowledge your pain?”
When you REFUSE TO FORGIVE someone, it may seem like you are punishing them. And they very well may deserve to be punished. But ultimately, the only person you end up hurting, is yourself. When you choose ACCEPTANCE over REFUSING TO FORGIVE, you give yourself the power to love yourself completely. You love yourself enough to realize that you are deserving of beautiful and healthy relationships!
If you are looking for love and not finding it, it may seem like you continue to make the same mistakes over and over again with different people. But you may be, without realizing it, revisiting and reliving a past relationship because you have not fully forgiven either yourself or your former partner.
Let’s say for arguments sake that a new person in your life does or says something that reminds you of a friend, family member, or former lover whom you have not forgiven. You begin to transfer those negative feelings about this other person onto your new relationship and sabotage the relationship before it has even begun!
With acceptance, you are able to heal yourself and your past wounds. You realize that you do not want your past relationships to affect your future relationships. And you’re able to leave your baggage behind.
I am learning that the road to acceptance is a long and arduous one. But it is so rewarding in the end!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you believe it is possible to completely forgive another person without their involvement? Is it necessary to have both the violator and the wronged party come to terms together in order to have forgiveness? Is there usually a clear violator and violated party when it comes to forgiveness? Or are the lines blurred most of the time?