When you ask most kids what super power they would choose, they usually say, “the ability to fly,” or, “invisibility” or “super strength.” My super power was, and has always been, “to stop time, reverse it, and to fast forward…” I am sure there are repercussions I don’t see, but if I had the choice? That super power would be mine.

The idea that one could stay in a specific moment in time was heaven to me. And the idea that I could go back in time and fix “mistakes” made? Oh, how I loved it!

To this day, my memories, feelings and relationships all seem to run together.  I try to live in the moment and capture each feeling…save them…keep them.  I am a bit obsessed with hanging onto memories, or staying in a specific moment just a little bit longer, not wanting life to continue…

I guess now that I’m thirty (good god, really?) I am starting to think about life just a little bit differently. I still feel like a teenager at times, but my actions and decisions are starting to weigh on me. I long for the days when friendships and relationships seemed simpler.

I constantly look for meaning in my relationships. I wonder if I have made the right choices with what I’ve done, who I’ve been with, who I’ve let go…

Who has let me go…and how I feel about that.

And as I’ve gotten older, I often wonder what it takes to make a relationship WORK. Can one force a relationship to work? And at what point is the “work,” well…too much work?

Throughout the years I have learned that most people will float in and out of your life. They will touch you in some way, and they may even change the way you think about yourself and your relationships, but life happens. People change and ultimately grow.

And sometimes people grow together.

And sometimes they don’t…

But I truly believe that we are defined by our relationships: by the people we interact with and who we allow in our lives. Who we choose to spend our time with is indicative of how we feel about ourselves.

So, how does one make the DECISION to stay in a relationship with another person, whether it be a friendship or an intimate relationship?

Because ultimately, the choice to be with someone, or not, is your own…

I would love to hear your thoughts on this! Let’s start a dialogue!


Me + You is a book that speaks to both singles looking for love and couples. As a dating coach, I’ve seen many clients come to me with an idealized view of what love and marriage should be, but this book gives insight into what it actually is like. Bowen captures the unique perspectives of couples of all ages and in various situations in a raw, honest way, allowing her to paint a portrait of marriage that is simultaneously gut-wrenching and inspiring. The themes of Me + You are universal and will resonate across cultural lines for many generations.”

Damona Hoffman-Dating Expert, Dear Mrs D., and author of How to Brand Yourself for Online Dating.