WHAT IS THE FOUNDATION OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?
This year I have often asked myself the question, “What does being in a good relationship mean to me?” I have loved. I have been hurt. I have hurt. I have learned to protect my heart. I have learned to cherish myself. And I have learned to let people go.
When I was younger, I used to think about my relationships in very broad terms: “I like this person. I don’t like this person…moving on.” And when it came to my intimate relationships? Well, I just didn’t have time to dissect the intricacies that came along with loving someone. It was very black and white for me: either I loved someone or I didn’t. Easy! Right? Not so much…
So what constitutes a “good” relationship? Is it Respect? Love? Trust? Forgiveness? All of the above? And what do these words mean? REALLY?
A lot of words are thrown around when speaking about the relationship between two people. The word “love” seems like it has lost all weight and meaning. There isn’t just one definition of love. There can’t be. The love I have for my family is different than the love I have for my friends, which is different than the love I have for someone I am in an intimate relationship with…
I’m big on definitions, so I actually looked up what the definition of the word “love” is.
LOVE IS: Adoration; or a very strong liking.
Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Is there another page? Six words? That’s what we get? Hmm. That seems kind of lame…”a very strong liking…” So I’m going to spend the rest of my life with someone who I very, strongly…LIKE…?
Let’s explore further…oh mighty dictionary. Some synonyms perhaps?
adulation, affection, allegiance, amity, amour, appreciation, ardor, attachment, delight, devotion, emotion, enchantment, enjoyment, fervor, fidelity, flame, fondness, friendship, hankering, inclination, infatuation, involvement, like, lust, passion, piety, rapture, regard, relish, respect, sentiment, taste, weakness, worship, yearning, zeal.
I think my favorite so far is “hankering.”
You have a hankering for pie, or hot dogs, or some other all American food; I don’t know if that word really applies to people…does it?
This dictionary isn’t good enough. Webster’s don’t steer me wrong:
1. Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
2. Attraction based on sexual desire
3. Affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
4. Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.
5. A score of zero (as in tennis)
These definitions don’t seem to get it either. Hmmm…maybe what is so infinite and wonderful about love is that it truly has no definition. It is a power that is beyond comprehension.
In these weekly blogs, I will attempt to address some of these points…and more…
FOCUSING ON THE PAST:
As long as you focus on the past, you will never be able to open yourself up to the future…and you will never be able to have fulfilling relationships in any part of your life.
I saw this on the “Meta Secret” and it has really helped me:
“If you are looking for love and not finding it, it is no doubt because of a lack of forgiveness in some area of your life. This is true for everyone. Look at your life, your past, all of your relationships and ask yourself, “Where have I not forgiven?” Myself, my parents, my siblings, my friends…
When you forgive, you release the energy that allows the law of attraction to bring new love and relationships in your life.”
…Okay, How does one do this? We’re gonna talk about it…
THE FAKE VS. REAL APOLOGY:
We’ve all gotten one. The “I’m sorry…BUT…” How do you deal with that? How do you move on and allow goodness into your life?
…I am excited to go on this journey with you as we explore ourselves and our relationships. If you have suggestions on topics, and would like to have an open dialogue, please feel free to comment as much as possible! I look forward to hearing from you.